August 2018
Things over the last few months have been bad. We have both been at the point of walking away, several times. We have both said hurtful things, we have both not cared about the other, we have both at times not cared about our kids. We have forgotten the reasons we fell in love, and what we love in each other, and we have focused on what we dislike in one another, at times possibly event hated each other.
The sad part of it is, although I kept track of what you said, in my mind I caught myself thinking some of the same things. I am not certain if saying it out loud for the other person to hear, is better or not. I think it isn't, but really, who is an expert in marriage?
Even the smallest, most insignificant things have annoyed me. You make a [phoken mess in the kitchen, you drop something, say "oops," but it stays there, you continue to use leftover jars instead of the glass tupper, which makes it so difficult to serve out of, and so annoying to wash, you do 7 loads of laundry and freaking leave it lying around because you do not like the way I do laundry; wtf! It is all about you! Even the way you stop the microwave and leave it on seconds makes me so unbelievably mad. Is it so hard to hit clear? So that someone else can see the time? Is it so hard to pick up your own clothes off the floor or make a bed? Is it so hard to consider my time, the things I do, the things I'm responsible for? Is it so difficult, to consider my own feelings except of always talking about your own, and saying, "you," "you," " you," over and over again? Doesn't love mean that, that we consider the other person without them having to explain everything to us? We shouldn't need to say, "hey put your phone down and help me"?
Isn't that what love is?
So we have both been disillusioned with each other again, and I'm done, and I'm ready to walk away.
...and then I think about little things. Stupid things.
Like, I turned around today, and saw that you didn't reset the microwave again, so I wasn't able to tell the time. I was so angry. And I looked down, and thought about how I know in my heart, that I would miss you if you weren't here. It might take a few days, a few weeks, maybe a month or two, but tall that anger, resentment, and frustration, would all melt away. I would sit there, at the table, alone, and miss how you would annoy me by not resetting the microwave clock.
Things over the last few months have been bad. We have both been at the point of walking away, several times. We have both said hurtful things, we have both not cared about the other, we have both at times not cared about our kids. We have forgotten the reasons we fell in love, and what we love in each other, and we have focused on what we dislike in one another, at times possibly event hated each other.
The sad part of it is, although I kept track of what you said, in my mind I caught myself thinking some of the same things. I am not certain if saying it out loud for the other person to hear, is better or not. I think it isn't, but really, who is an expert in marriage?
Even the smallest, most insignificant things have annoyed me. You make a [phoken mess in the kitchen, you drop something, say "oops," but it stays there, you continue to use leftover jars instead of the glass tupper, which makes it so difficult to serve out of, and so annoying to wash, you do 7 loads of laundry and freaking leave it lying around because you do not like the way I do laundry; wtf! It is all about you! Even the way you stop the microwave and leave it on seconds makes me so unbelievably mad. Is it so hard to hit clear? So that someone else can see the time? Is it so hard to pick up your own clothes off the floor or make a bed? Is it so hard to consider my time, the things I do, the things I'm responsible for? Is it so difficult, to consider my own feelings except of always talking about your own, and saying, "you," "you," " you," over and over again? Doesn't love mean that, that we consider the other person without them having to explain everything to us? We shouldn't need to say, "hey put your phone down and help me"?
Isn't that what love is?
So we have both been disillusioned with each other again, and I'm done, and I'm ready to walk away.
...and then I think about little things. Stupid things.
Like, I turned around today, and saw that you didn't reset the microwave again, so I wasn't able to tell the time. I was so angry. And I looked down, and thought about how I know in my heart, that I would miss you if you weren't here. It might take a few days, a few weeks, maybe a month or two, but tall that anger, resentment, and frustration, would all melt away. I would sit there, at the table, alone, and miss how you would annoy me by not resetting the microwave clock.
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